Results tagged “skank” from Mamarazzi

Jan
25

Eau de Ho, or, Andy Warhol, Part Deux

By
Poppy Buxom
 |

Andy Warhol is famous for saying, "In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." (In his case, he was famous for longer than 15 minutes. What's up with that, Andy?)

At any rate, we think it's time to update Warhol's saying. We say "In the future, everyone will launch a celebrity fragrance."
Celebrity fragrances
Think about it. Everyone with any pretensions to fame has a signature fragrance. Recent or soon-to-be-launched celebrity scents are coming from: Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce, Britney Spears, Daisy Fuentes, David and Victoria Beckham, Faith Hill, Halle Berry, Demi Moore, J-Lo, Kim Kardashian, Eva Longoria, Paris Hilton, Gwen Stefani, Rihanna, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Celebrity fragrances
Who's next, Octomom? We're surprised Brad Pitt hasn't come out with Eau de Goatee.

With all this cologne flooding the stores, there must be some way to figure out what to buy.

Mamarazzi is here to help. Our number one tip: never buy a fragrance marketed by anyone who's made a sex tape.
Celebrity fragrances

(photo courtesy of DListed)

Which is why we're not heading to Rite-Aid to buy a bottle of Pamela Anderson's Malibu Pink. Hello? The name alone boggles the mind.

Tags:

Jan
15

Lindsay Lohan, humanitarian, fights sex tape rumors

By
Poppy Buxom
 |

In another failed attempt to kick-start her cratering career, Lindsay Lohan produced a documentary about sex trafficking in India.

Five minutes after it was released, the internet started to percolate with rumors about a sex tape.

Lindsay denies these rumors. But Lindsay? If you really want to make the rumors go away, don't wear a see-through blouse

Lindsay Lohan, skank humanitarian

to a launch party. Especially if the product being launched

Lindsay Lohan, skank humanitarian


is sex toys.

Honestly, the girl doesn't understand the first thing about combining fame and humanitarian work.

We're thinking about mailing her a biography of Audrey Hepburn.

--
Lindsay Lohan photo courtesy of DListed; vibrators courtesy of BedroomJoys.com

Tags:

Jan
08

This just in: Tiger Woods has had sex with the Queen of England, Rosie O'Donnell, the Doublemint Twins, Samantha-on-Bewitched's cousin Serena, and Mr. Clean.

By
Poppy Buxom
 |

Tiger/Loredana Jolie
Tiger and Loredana Jolie courtesy of The Newsjunkie
Remember last year at this time, when all everyone ever talked about was Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme? Well, we're still talking about Ponzi schemes, except instead of Wall Street investments, it's a Ponzi scheme of news.

See, we've just heard that Tiger Woods' Official Mistress No. 19, Loredana Jolie, is trying to sell the story of their relationship to the media. For $1 million, she'll tell us everything she saw Tiger do, including the part where he supposedly had sex with men.

She's got to be crazy. At this point, Tiger Woods has had sex with everyone on the planet. Male, female, Cylon, Replicant--anything with an orifice.

Doesn't this skank realize that when everyone has had sex with Tiger Woods, the going rate for a tell-all story goes down? It's a simple question of supply and demand.

And how good a story can she tell? Let's face it; if your only appearance in print was as a Playboy pictorial, chances are you're not much of a raconteur.

Tiger/Loredana Jolie
And with those nails, she probably can't even type.

If we have to hear about this (and apparently we do) why can't we get the story from an actual reputable journalist?

Like Anderson Cooper.

Tags:

Mar
27

One small step for Shauna ... one giant leap for snark kind

By
Poppy Buxom
 |

Shauna Sand is our number one fan! How do we know?

Shauna Sand

We only had to make fun of her stripper shoes once twice three four times before she got the hint and changed out of them.

Shauna Sand w/iPhone
Shauna using her iPhone to catch up on her Mamarazzi reading. We feel so proud.

But Shauna, honey? Just so you know?

Shauna Sand gassing up

Changing from stripper shoes to ho boots isn't usually considered a step up.


Images courtesy of www.bauergriffin.com and partyimg.info

Tags:

Jan
29

Shauna Sand is Versatile

By
LemonySarah
 |

We want to cry when we hear people dismiss our beloved Shauna Sand as a one trick pony. People who have heard of her know her only as a tranny gorgeous creature who stands around in Lucite platform stilettos.

shauna sand in sand 2 01/2009

But behold! Shameless Shauna can do a lot of tricks in her shoes. (Um, maybe we ought to rephrase that.)

shauna sand in sand 01/2009

Come on, now. Who else do you know who would can walk on the beach in seven-inch spike-heeled platforms?

And who else could--less than a week later--display her teetering talents by riding a Segway in the very same shoes?

shauna sand on segway

shauna sand lucite on segway

shauna sand on segway

Believe us when we say that we're in just as much shock and awe as the dude riding the Rascal.

We mean the guy in the scooter, not rascally Shauna's pal, the Chippendales reject.

Tags:

Twitter

    Shameless Advertising

    Tag Cloud

    Recent Comments

    Archives

    Mamas of Razzi

    Jennifer
    Jen on the Edge
    Kristin
    it's all fun & games
    LemonySarah
    lemony life
    poppy
    opiate of the masses
    susie
    underpaid kept woman