Last night internet-and-MTV-reality omnisexual fame whore Tila Tequila announced on twitter that she's pregnant. And that fiancée Casey Johnson
isn't the father.
Yawn, right?
Check it out:
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his Wife!!! That is my xmas present to them,Im pregnant!!!!
Is pregnancy contagious? Because we just threw up a little in our mouths.
(On the bright side, a full-term pregnancy would prevent another bout of Tampon string flashing.)
Cute girls like to travel in packs. It's the reason sororities exist. It's why we have The Rockettes. It may even be the reason women never seem to be able to go to the bathroom one at a time.
This is because if one cute girl is a sparkler, a group of cute girls is a fireworks display.
Photo courtesy of NY Daily News
Unfortunately, the same is true of douchebags.
Take an Ed Hardy-wearing, hair-plugs sporting cheating reality show dad, stand him next to Bristol Palin's baby daddy, take them to Times Square, dress them in matching peacoats, and what do you have?
A perfect storm of assholiness that threatens to engulf Manhattan.
Everyone knows what it means to hit bottom. It's when you can finally admit that you've completely lost control of your life. Michael Lohan knows this. He also knows that no one can force you to become sober; this is a decision and a process that you have to embark upon yourself.
But that hasn't stopped Michael from taping telephone calls from Lindsay--calls in which she weeps, sobs, and is clearly in anguish ... and then releasing them to the press.
He's claiming that it's an attempt to get her to go to rehab. But we respectfully disagree. We think Michael is addicted to talking to reporters.
Photo courtesy of Celebuzz.com
Of course we'd like Lindsay to hit bottom. But we'd really like to kick her father's ass.
1. Have you ever been on a reality television show?
2. Have you ever posed nude for a men's magazine, released a sex tape, or been involved in the porn industry?
3. Do you make Donald Trump look quiet and self-effacing?
4. If people have heard of you, is it because you used to be married to a household name?
If you answered "Yes" to all four questions, congratulations! You're a loserish fame whore--and there's also a very good chance that you're Heather Mills McCartney.
Heather's latest desperate attempt to get attention is her eco-friendly fashion line, B@1. She introduced it at Celebrity Catwalk, an event where loserish fame whores strut around posing for pictures in a misguided attempt to drum up media attention.
Heather's new fashion line is recycled clothes. Yes, new clothes made out of old clothes. It sounds like a really good idea
until you see that turning garbage into garbage
really doesn't do the environment any favors.
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