Dear Kate:
We've just heard that you've landed a new television show, Twist of Kate, where you'll be meeting other single mothers. Sort of like The Simple Life, where Paris and Nicole traveled around the country interacting with ordinary people.
Earth to Kate: you are the ordinary people. At least, you were before you turned your uterus into a clown car.
Hello, did we watch Jon and Kate plus Eight because of your wonderful parenting abilities? Or even your OCD housecleaning and husband whipping skills?
No, we watched J&K+8 because of your adorable children. And OK, we admit it, to watch as your marriage to Jon slowly circled the bowl.
But Kate, you have delusions of glamor. You're not Paris Hilton or Nicole Ritchie. You're a suburban housewife with a Mystic tan, some highlights, and a tummy tuck.
Our advice to you is to remarry. Pick someone named Ken with two kids from a previous marriage. Then you can have a show called Kate and Ken plus 10. We'd tune in for that.
xxx,
Mamarazzi
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