Dear Nickelodon,
One of the first rules we taught our children was "Kind hands." We sort of think that if one of your Kid's Choice nominees can't adhere to this simple rule, it might be a good idea to strike his name from the ballot.
You know, just to serve as a good example and keep you from being known as the Hugh Hefner of children's programming.
Sincerely,
The Mamarazzi
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