Last Friday we were twittering some snark about Tiger Woods's car accident. (We're not heartless; we'd already heard he was OK.) You know, the one where his wife, Elin Nordegren, bravely rescued him from his wrecked Escalade by breaking the car window with one of Tiger's clubs.
But this morning, our dream of an adoring wife and grateful husband was shattered by news update involving a cheated-on wife and mother of two 1. scratching her husband's face, 2. chasing him down the driveway, and 3. whacking him with his own golf clubs.
Seems that Tiger has been romantically linked with Rachel Uchitel.
Despite having been linked romantically with "a famous baseball player, a Broadway star, a musician, and various film and television actors," Rachel claims, "I will never kiss and tell."
Whatever, Rachel. That remark strikes us as both pitiful and braggypants. As far as we're concerned, your new last name is Kissandtell. And that's not the worst name we thought up.
But back to Tiger. He's still not talking.
We hope that means he's shopping for a golf-ball-sized diamond.
Because Ellin appears to have a pretty good swing.
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