The holidays are a time of year when even non-musical families find themselves belting out "Deck the Halls" when the mood is right and the eggnog properly spiked.
So just imagine what must transpire when music-industry families gather with friends and loved ones!
Take the Cyrus family: what sort of lyrical loveliness is created when Achey Breaky Papa Billy Ray, tween sensation Miley, and poptart-in-training Noah join hands and gather around the fireplace?
Dear Billy Ray:
Are you mental, or do you just think we're forgetful?
Let us help you out here; we're not forgetful. We remember your dumb-ass Achy Breaky Heart song and the mullet that went with it.
Photo courtesy of ScrapeTV.com
We remember the the nude picture of Miley that showed up in Vanity Fair. And the provocative father/daughter shots of you and Miley.
Photo courtesy of Gothamist.com
Not to mention Miley's MySpace self-portraits.
Complete with duck lips.
Photo courtesy of ThisisBandit.com
We even remember hearing about you telling Miley to get back on twitter. (Tell us why again? Because she wasn't getting enough publicity?)
But now? Now your nine-year old daughter goes to a Halloween party dressed as ... what is this, anyway? A Hoochie Witch?
Whatever it is, it's bad. So guess what? You just won the Mamarazzi "Bad Dad o' the week" award.
(But don't get excited. It's only Monday. Some other idiot might screw up before Friday.)
Now please get lost. And take your soul patch with you.
The Mamarazzi
p.s. As skinny as Noah is, you somehow managed to find her a hootchy witch outfit that was too tight. Way to go, mullet head!
"Noah Lindsey Cyrus & Emily Grace Reaves, with Emily's dog Bunny, pose for the cameras at Brittany Curran's Retro 50's Poolside Bash on Saturday, May 30 in Burbank sporting Juicy Couture vintage bathing suits. The two friends filmed an episode of their Noei and Ems Show at the party. So pretty!" -Link via Jezebel
Call the Mamarazzi "quaint" and "old-fashioned", but when porn stars remove pubic hair and make their genitals resemble 9 year-olds and 9 year-olds go out made up like porn stars, something seems dreadfully WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY.
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