Results tagged “Michael Lohan” from Mamarazzi

We had resolved to stop making fun of anyone whose last name is Gosselin or Lohan. Instead, we were going to do nice, positive, upstanding things like congratulate Matthew McBongity on the birth of his daughter.

Jon Gosselin/Michael Lohan
Photo courtesy of X17.com

And you see how long that lasted.

But we don't really feel we're really breaking our resolution, because we're powerless in the face of Jon Gosselin's dead shark eyes. He reminds us of the guy who played Torgo in Manos: The Hands of Fate. We're under his spell, and the proof is our sudden urge to go to Ulta to buy an Ed Hardy fragrance.

(Also, those of you who went to co-ed high schools, does it look like Michael Lohan's teacher asked him to write something on the board, and he has a hard-on and is trying to hide it with the front of his t-shirt?)

ANYWAY. Apparently there are talks underway between these two fame whores. They're planning on having some kind of boxing match.

YAWN. With any luck, they'll be like matter and anti-matter. As soon as one of them manages to land a punch, they'll both disappear.

Les Lohans

Photo courtesy of HilaryShepard.com

Everyone knows what it means to hit bottom. It's when you can finally admit that you've completely lost control of your life. Michael Lohan knows this. He also knows that no one can force you to become sober; this is a decision and a process that you have to embark upon yourself.

But that hasn't stopped Michael from taping telephone calls from Lindsay--calls in which she weeps, sobs, and is clearly in anguish ... and then releasing them to the press.

He's claiming that it's an attempt to get her to go to rehab. But we respectfully disagree. We think Michael is addicted to talking to reporters.

Les Lohans

Photo courtesy of Celebuzz.com


Of course we'd like Lindsay to hit bottom. But we'd really like to kick her father's ass.

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