Results tagged “Levi Johnston” from Mamarazzi

Jan
13

It's a Hard(Not!) Life

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It used to be, that having a baby whilst one was young and out-of-wedlock was a one-way ticket on the Poverty and Hardship Train.

However, the teenage mavericky offspring of Sarah, Bristol Palin will be receiving a six-figure paycheck for agreeing to appear on a national magazine cover with her family.

She is also said to have filed the paperwork to start a company to provide lobbying, public relations and political consulting services.

Clearly, all today's young woman needs for a career and financial security is to get a Masters in Levi's johnson.


Sometimes

Levi Johnston

it's really hard

Levi Johnston

for new fathers

Levi Johnston

to get their figures back.

Cute girls like to travel in packs. It's the reason sororities exist. It's why we have The Rockettes. It may even be the reason women never seem to be able to go to the bathroom one at a time.

This is because if one cute girl is a sparkler, a group of cute girls is a fireworks display.

alg_gosselin_johnston
Photo courtesy of NY Daily News

Unfortunately, the same is true of douchebags.

Take an Ed Hardy-wearing, hair-plugs sporting cheating reality show dad, stand him next to Bristol Palin's baby daddy, take them to Times Square, dress them in matching peacoats, and what do you have?

A perfect storm of assholiness that threatens to engulf Manhattan.

We weren't thrilled with last May's GQ article about Levi Johnston, a/k/a Bristol Palin's baby daddy. Levi was already well on his way to becoming the Kato Kaelin of presidential politics, and the story was kind of depressing.

Also, we didn't think it was such a hot idea to allow GQ to publish naked pictures of Trip.

Levi Johnston diapering Trip
Photo courtesy of GQ.com

We just know that Trip is going to grow up and hate finding pictures of his baby peen splashed all over the internet.

Kathy Griffith and Levi Johnston
Photo courtesy of www.KathyGriffin.net

Flash forward to this week: Levi just escorted Kathy Griffin to the Teen Choice awards, and then was interviewed by her on Larry King Live.

This interview might constitute the most painful 10 minutes of our lives, which is saying a lot, because we've given birth. Go ahead and click on the link if you want to see Link's impression of a deer in the headlights. Mamarazzi to Levi: a career as an actor does not await you.

One particularly agonizing moment was when Levi said it would be OK to pose nude, but "it depends on the money, man ... It's gotta be right for that."

Well, now he's received at least one offer--$25,000 for a nude video to be posted on StraightCollegeMen.com.

And we hear he stopped by the Vanity Fair offices while he was in L.A.

What do you think? Is this OK? Or is Levi forgetting that his claim to fame is Trip and Trip's needs should come first?

We think Levi's media appearances are starting look like a reality t.v. show. Called Northern Overexposure.

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